The Mindful Midlife Crisis

Episode 29--Discover Your Inner Awesome by Being Unapologetically You with Life Coach Jill Dahler

August 25, 2021 Billy & Brian Season 3
Episode 29--Discover Your Inner Awesome by Being Unapologetically You with Life Coach Jill Dahler
The Mindful Midlife Crisis
More Info
The Mindful Midlife Crisis
Episode 29--Discover Your Inner Awesome by Being Unapologetically You with Life Coach Jill Dahler
Aug 25, 2021 Season 3
Billy & Brian

In this week's episode, Billy and Brian talk to certified professional co-active life coach, registered yoga teacher, and yoga studio owner Jill Dahler about:
--her transition from Corporate America to life coach and yoga studio owner;
--what she means by being "unapologetically you"
--the healing she needed to do in order to love herself enough to discover her inner awesome
--what a life coach does and how she blends yoga and energy into her work as a life coach
--where most of her clients get stuck
--what a coaching session would look like with her
--why her husband calls her a "wisdom witch"

Like what you heard from Jill Dahler?  Contact her at:
Website: or
@jilldahler  or @jmdwellness1
@jill.dahler or @jmdwellness

Thank you for listening to the Mindful Midlife Crisis!
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Topics you want us to cover?
"Like" and "Follow" us on Facebook:
The Mindful Midlife Crisis Podcast

Please leave us a 5-Star Review!  Doing so helps other people looking for a podcast like ours find it!

We hope you enjoy this week’s episode!  If this episode resonates with you, please share it with your friends and family.  If you’re really feeling gracious, you can make a donation to Your donations will be used to cover all of our production costs.

If we have money left over after covering our fees, we will make a donation to the
Livin Foundation, which is a non-profit organization whose mission is to promote a positive outlook on life, reduce the stigma associated with depression/mental illness, and ultimately prevent suicide through various activities, events, & outreach.

Support the Show.

Show Notes Transcript

In this week's episode, Billy and Brian talk to certified professional co-active life coach, registered yoga teacher, and yoga studio owner Jill Dahler about:
--her transition from Corporate America to life coach and yoga studio owner;
--what she means by being "unapologetically you"
--the healing she needed to do in order to love herself enough to discover her inner awesome
--what a life coach does and how she blends yoga and energy into her work as a life coach
--where most of her clients get stuck
--what a coaching session would look like with her
--why her husband calls her a "wisdom witch"

Like what you heard from Jill Dahler?  Contact her at:
Website: or
@jilldahler  or @jmdwellness1
@jill.dahler or @jmdwellness

Thank you for listening to the Mindful Midlife Crisis!
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Topics you want us to cover?
"Like" and "Follow" us on Facebook:
The Mindful Midlife Crisis Podcast

Please leave us a 5-Star Review!  Doing so helps other people looking for a podcast like ours find it!

We hope you enjoy this week’s episode!  If this episode resonates with you, please share it with your friends and family.  If you’re really feeling gracious, you can make a donation to Your donations will be used to cover all of our production costs.

If we have money left over after covering our fees, we will make a donation to the
Livin Foundation, which is a non-profit organization whose mission is to promote a positive outlook on life, reduce the stigma associated with depression/mental illness, and ultimately prevent suicide through various activities, events, & outreach.

Support the Show.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to The Mindful Midlife Crisis podcast. We hope you enjoy this week’s episode. If this episode resonates with you, please share it with your family and friends. We will do our best to put out new content every Wednesday to get you over the midweek hump. If you want episodes to be downloaded automatically to your phone each week, all you need to do is hit the checkmark, Subscribe, Like, or Follow button, depending on what podcast format you’re using. While you’re at it, feel free to leave our show a quick five-star review with a few kind words so more people like you can easily find our show. If you’re really enjoying the show and you want to help us out, feel free to make a donation to You can also access the link in our show notes. We use the money from these donations to pay whatever expenses we incur from producing the show, but, ultimately, we record this show for you so if you keep listening, we’ll keep recording and releasing new episodes each week regardless. If you’d like to contact us or if you have suggestions about what you’d like us to discuss on future episodes, feel free to email us at or follow us on Instagram at @Mindful_Midlife_Crisis. Be sure to check out the show notes for links to the articles and resources we referenced throughout the show. Thanks again for listening. May you feel happy, healthy, and loved. Enjoy the show.


Welcome to The Mindful Midlife Crisis, a podcast for people navigating the complexities and possibilities of life second half. Join your hosts, Billy and Brian, a couple of average dudes who will serve as your armchair life coaches as we share our life experiences, both the good and the bad, in an effort to help us all better understand how we can enjoy and make the most of the life we have left to live in a more meaningful way. Take a deep breath, embrace the present, and journey with us through The Mindful Midlife Crisis.


Billy: Welcome to The Mindful Midlife Crisis. I’m your host, Billy, and, as always, I’m joined by my good friend, Brian on the Bass. Brian, how you doing over there, man?


Brian: I’m peachy, Billy.


Billy: Peachy? Why so peachy today? 


Brian: Well, I’m peachy in season, because peaches can get good and bad. If they’re out of season, they’re tough and a little bit raw, but once they’re in season, they’re very sweet and delicate. And I’m sweet and delicate today. 


Billy: Oh. Is it because of all the delicious steak that we got to eat yesterday?


Brian: Oh my gosh. Yes, of course. The Meat Sweats birthday lunch. 


Billy: Yeah, it was absolutely delicious. So, my friend Mitch and I, 11 years ago, we decided that we were going to do a birthday luncheon for our August birthdays and we used to go to Fogo de Chão, which is a Brazilian steakhouse, and they just serve you meat forever, like they have one of those — it’s one of those places where if you have a coaster and one side is red and one side is green and if you leave it green, they just keep serving you meat.


Brian: And all different kinds of meat. It’s not like they just bring you one kind of meat. It’s like here’s some chicken, here’s some — and they walk around on it with, they have swords that are just full of meat and they just dump it on your face.


Billy: Yeah, it’s amazing, but we decided to go somewhere else. We decided to go to Pittsburgh Blue in Edina and they did a really nice job. We asked them, “Hey, what sort of steaks do you recommend?” and they gave us, what was it? A cowboy steak, a porterhouse steak, and a sirloin with coffee-ground burnt edges. It was very, very delicious. And then we got all sorts of sides, like asparagus and mac and cheese and the hash browns. And then they came out and they gave us a big old cheesecake for our birthdays and they had a nice “Happy birthday, guys” on it. There were five of us there so we made the most of it. It was very, very tasty. We celebrated some August birthdays.


Brian: The coffee steak was probably the best, in my opinion. 


Billy: It was really good. It’s funny, I had the coffee steak and I’m like, “Oh, this is by far the best,” and then I had the porterhouse and I was like, “No, wait, this is the best,” and then I had the cowboy steak, I’m like, “I think this one is the best.” I couldn’t really make up my mind so then I just started eating them like at random and they all just tasted amazing. So I would suggest, if you out there are meat eaters and you enjoy a good steak, get like three, four, five friends together and do a steak tasting. It’s very delicious. The first time I ever did it was in a place called Jacobs in Toronto and if you’re a foodie and you’ve never been to Toronto, stop calling yourself a foodie because you are not a foodie if you have never been to Toronto. Toronto is one of the great food cities. I will say, after eating all that food, I kind of feel like a bucket of assholes today just because I’ve had neck pain for a while and it’s actually one-fifth your fault, Brian, that I have neck pain.


Brian: Yeah, how so? I’m curious to see this. 


Billy: Yeah, because like 11 years ago, I was at a Space Needle show and I was head banging real hard. Real hard. 


Brian: Oh, dude, if I could get sued for that, I’d already been sued for it, I got to tell you.


Billy: And my neck was in a lot of pain so I went and got a massage and the massage therapist was like, “What did you do?” and I’m like, “Space Needle, you know?” and she’s like —


Brian: That happens.


Billy: Yeah, and she was like, “This is what I see in car crash victims.”


Brian: We get kickbacks from the chiropractors, actually. We hand out their cards after the show, we’re like, “Hey, go to this person if your neck hurts from rocking too hard.” 


Billy: Yeah, yeah. And she said, “You essentially gave yourself whiplash,” so I actually had to go into physical therapy because my neck was so messed up. And from time to time, if I don’t treat my neck well, it acts up and makes me a little nauseous, gives me headaches, that kind of thing so my life is a mess. But, luckily, we have a life coach here today to get me back on track so not only is she a certified professional coactive life coach but she is also a registered yoga teacher and she is the yoga studio owner of JMD Wellness here in Minnesota. We would like to welcome to the show, Jill Dahler. Jill, thank you for joining us today. 


Jill: Thank you for having me. 


Billy: Absolutely. So, Jill, we like to have our guests tell us the 10 roles they play in their life. So, Jill, what are the 10 roles you play? 


Jill: Certainly. I’m an entrepreneur, a coach, a wife, a dog mom, a lover of profanity, a TV junkie, a traveler, wisdom witch, leader, honorary Hawaiian.


Billy: Oh, wow. Okay. I like that. Let’s — real quick, what are you watching on TV?


Jill: Well, I’m a little bit of a dry spell right now because I’m waiting for something to come out. I feel like I’ve gone through all things. However, The L Word: Generation Q has been my latest. 


Billy: Oh, interesting. What is that one about? 


Jill: Lesbians.


Billy: Is it anything like Queer as Folk


Jill: I don’t know, I haven’t watched Queer as Folk. However, Jennifer Beals from Flashdance is in it. So she’s fabulous.


Brian: What’s the premise? I mean, besides — like what else is going on?


Jill: Just their life in LA and what it is that they do, the success that they have as professional lesbian women and the trials and tribulations of relationships and marriage and adopting children and, yeah, just gives you an eye into, I don’t know, I guess that lifestyle for them.


Brian: Interesting perspective, yeah, right.


Jill: Yeah, extremely. Yeah, it’s great. 


Billy: Season 3 of Master of None has taken that storyline as well. They’ve moved away from the storyline with Dev who’s played by Aziz Ansari and they moved it to that storyline. So, very interesting. I might have to check that one out. I just finished Schitt's Creek and it was good. It wrapped up a little too cozy for me but it’s supposed to be a feel good story so I get it that it wrapped up in that way, but it was very cute. Season 1, that was tough to get through season 1, but once I got through season 1, it was really, really funny.


Jill: I’m just going to have to use the door now.


Brian: You don’t like that show or what?


Jill: I love that show. 


Brian: Oh, loved that show. I was going to say, because most people that watch it are militant about — my wife is too. 


Jill: I have watched that show more than thrice, to be clear. Season 6 came out, I spent $24.99 to purchase it and watched it twice before it came out on Netflix.


Brian: Wow. And that was a worthwhile purchase to you. 


Jill: Oh, yeah. 


Brian: Okay. 


Billy: Yeah, I liked it a lot. I liked it a lot. Season 1 was hard for me because I don’t do well with rich people and their rich people problems, like that’s not of any interest to me, but then when you get into the second season, you see them more as humans, that kind of thing, and you see the storylines unfold and their personalities unfold. I started to get into it a little bit more. You also have on here that you’re part Hawaiian. 


Jill: Sure. 


Billy: Okay. So, you mentioned to us — by the way, this is the second time we’re trying to record this because the first time didn’t go so well. New software. But, anyway, you said that you were an honorary Hawaii. Can you talk about what you mean by that?


Jill: Yes, not culturally Hawaiian. We’ve been there for the past 11 years and it’s our sacred place and we’ve established some group of friends that are there and since we’ve been there so many times, they’re just like, “Well, yeah, now you’re just an honorary Hawaiian.” So you can just get the discount that Hawaiians get on the island. And this is, let’s be clear, I don’t know if this is all Hawaiian Islands, or if this is just Kauai, that’s where we go, so my good friend Bridgette gave me that honorary Hawaiian title.


Billy: So do you get a card that goes along with that that shows that you’re an honorary Hawaiian so that you get the local deals?


Jill: No, I just get to go to, like when you go to the farmers’ market and things like that, I just get to say that I’m local and then I get a discount. I mean, it’s like 10, 15 percent.


Brian: Not to mention, it’s great fodder for a podcast talking about that, being an honorary Hawaiian.


Billy: And your place is on Kauai?


Jill: Correct. 


Billy: I’ve heard that Kauai is the best of the islands if you are into just like the low key serene life.


Jill: Absolutely. And that’s — I mean, we went to Honolulu for three days to check out Pearl Harbor, which was spectacular, but that has been our only time off of the island in the last 11 years. The rule on Kauai is that you cannot have any building taller than the tallest palm tree so there are no skyscrapers, there is one highway that goes three-quarters of the way around the island so there’s not a lot of trouble to get into it and, yes, it’s very serene.


Billy: That sounds like my kind of place. Maybe I should add that to my list of travels in this next year here.


Brian: How does one get a bus there? 


Jill: You don’t.


Brian: Okay. Well, maybe I could go purchase a bus there and that’d just make me feel at home when I’m cruising around the island. 


Jill: You certainly could do that. They have plenty of places to camp.


Billy: Do you think you could James Bond it and like get some floaties and get it across?


Brian: It’s sealed up pretty good right now.


Jill: You could ship it across. I’m sure that’s pretty inexpensive. 


Brian: I think it would fit in a container. Yeah. Good idea.


Billy: All right, we’re taking the show on the ocean. 


Brian: Yes. Plane tickets to Hawaii, $1,200. Shipping a bus, $12,000, but maybe it makes sense for a family of five and if we bring a few friends.


Billy: There you go. I like this idea. You said of those 10 roles, the three that you’re most looking forward to are traveler, coach, and energy junkie. Let’s start with traveler since clearly you’ve done quite a bit of traveling.


Jill: Technically, I haven’t done quite a bit of traveling, I’ve just been to Hawaii 11 times. I haven’t traveled much outside of the greater US nor have I spent a lot of time in the US so that may be a little bit of a false statement. So, for traveler, I want to take that false statement and make that true, like I want to be able to get over to Amsterdam, I want to be in Spain, like I just want to try some new things.


Billy: What is it about Amsterdam and Spain that stick out to you? 


Jill: Amsterdam just sounds like a lot of fun. I want to be able to see things that are older than the United States. I love architecture, I love the history of all of that, so I want to explore a little bit more. In Spain, just the beautiful coastline, Portugal, like just — yeah, there’s just everything fabulous about it. Every picture you see, you never look at it and go, “Oh, I don’t wanna be there.” You always look at it going, “I really wanna go.”


Billy: That’s exactly why I picked Portugal because I’m like, “Okay, this place looks beautiful,” especially the Algarve region of that country. Very much looking forward to that. So then you also put energy junkie and somewhere in here, we talked about you also being a wisdom witch, so how are those two things similar and what is it about being an energy junkie, what is it about being a wisdom witch that you’re looking forward to in the second half of life?


Jill: I find myself to be an intuitive person and in some of the different things that I’ve done that are considered more witchy, like doing your poem reading and having Reiki sessions or seeing a numerologist, all of those things have told me these different aspects about myself that I find to be true so I want to continue to explore those things within myself and be able to bring those into how it is that I work with people. I like to do astrology, I like to work with crystals and all of that is energy so bringing those modalities together, and the witch part, because my husband calls me a woo-woo witch.


Billy: So what’s something that an astrologist has told you or if you’ve done a reading before or — is it Reiki?


Jill: Reiki.


Billy: Reiki, what’s a Reiki experience like?


Jill: Sure, and I think it’s different for everybody, obviously. For me, my experience was in my session, it was getting a sense of my chakra system that’s in my body and where there might be some misalignments and going through and tuning in that energy and releasing the things that are blocking it, releasing that stuck energy, so you’re laying on the table and someone’s just like working their magic over you. One of my sessions, I had the woman who was just like, “Okay, I sense a very strong male presence. Is it somebody that you know? Is it somebody that you’re familiar with?” and I was like, “I need a little bit more detailed so I know really what it is that you’re going after,” I said, “because it doesn’t ring a bell,” and she’s like, “Well, let me just finish my session and we’ll come back to that.” And so, in that session, when we got back to it and she had a connection with this large gentleman that was in my presence, he had said to her, “I’m just here to support her, so anytime that she wants to talk to me, she can feel free to connect with me, I’m here as her guide.” And strangely enough, I do feel like I have like an energy guardian angel that’s around me, his name is Charlie, just saying.


Billy: Did he announce himself as Charlie or did you name him Charlie?


Jill: I named him Charlie. He got his name when we were in Chicago because I felt like we had a ghost in our Chicago apartment and I was just like, “Yep, that’s Charlie,” and my husband’s just like, “I’m sorry, what?” Who, by the way, came to me and said, “I think there’s a ghost.” I’m like, “Oh, yeah, Charlie,” and he’s just like, “Okay.”


Brian: Did you try the sage on Charlie or anything? 


Jill: I didn’t, I didn’t.


Brian: Oh, because you know Charlie’s your guardian, I guess, but how did you determine that he was your guardian then maybe? How did you know he was a good, like Casper and not like one of those other ghosts that eat your face? 


Jill: Sure. I think I just like felt that he was a nice guy, like I felt safe and protected in my home at all times.


Brian: Okay, there we go. 


Jill: Yeah. 


Billy: And then you also said that you’re looking forward to being a coach. So, you have this title as a life coach, you’ve gone through the training to be a life coach, so what is it about coaching? What is it that you want to coach? And what is it that you enjoy about coaching?


Jill: Yeah, so I think it’s just continuing to expand myself and my practice to make that more of who I am as an individual. At the yoga studio, it’s something that is available, it’s not something that I regularly connect with the students that are there about so I want to be able to take on more private clients and I want to work on how can I take the combination of coach as a yoga instructor and coach as a life coach and how can I bring those things together and help people work through the different stuck energies and work through the different things that come up from a life coaching perspective.


Billy: And we’re going to talk about how you blend those two things here later on in the show but, for now, we’re going to take a quick break and when we come back, we’re going to continue talking to life coach and certified yoga instructor Jill Dahler. Thank you for listening to The Mindful Midlife Crisis. 


Thank you for listening to The Mindful Midlife Crisis. If you’re enjoying what you’ve heard so far, please do us a favor and hit the Subscribe button. Also, giving our show a quick five-star review with a few kind words helps us on our quest to reach the top of the podcast charts. Finally, since you can’t make a mixtape for your friends and loved ones like you used to do, share this podcast with them instead. We hope our experiences resonate with others and inspire people to live their best lives. Thanks again. And now, let’s take a minute to be present with our breath.


If you’re listening somewhere safe and quiet, close your eyes and slowly inhale for four, three, two, one. Hold for seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Slowly exhale for eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Let’s do that one more time. Inhale for four, three, two, one. Hold for seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Slowly exhale for eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Go ahead and open your eyes. You feel better? We certainly hope so. And now, back to the show.


Billy: Welcome back to The Mindful Midlife Crisis. We are here with life coach and certified yoga instructor Jill Dahler and Jill is here to talk to us about how we can discover our inner awesome, and just so everybody knows, Jill and I have known each other for over 20 years and the first time I ever met Jill was at her wedding, which usually isn’t the best time to just meet somebody but the reason why I was there is because I crashed her wedding, which is also not a good reason to meet somebody, but her brother-in-law is one of my best friends and he said, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, just come down here. There’s free booze,” so I couldn’t turn down an offer like that. So, we have known each other for 20 plus years and when we had Tandra Rutledge on earlier, and if you haven’t listened to the Tandra Rutledge episodes, please go back and listen to those, she described herself as a boss bae which she absolutely is and because I’ve known you for as long as I have and because I’ve known you in the way that I know you, I would say that you are hands down the first true boss bae that I ever met in my life because you are very much a straight shooting, get the fuck out of here with that bullshit bad Mama Jama. So, what do you attribute that to? 


Jill: Yeah, thank you for saying so and I’m glad that we’re still friends after all of those moments that could have been construed as harsh. I would say in the beginning that was my defense mechanism, of trying to trying to fit in and trying to really find my way in life, because when we met, I was 22 years old, like let’s be real here, you’re just trying to figure things out. So, I think it was a lot of that, and now as I’ve gotten older in life, had more experiences and gained more knowledge and done some of the different things that I’ve done for healing and getting to know more about myself, it’s just, yeah, this is just unapologetically me. This is who I am. And I think before, it was more of not really sure who I am and now I own that. 


Billy: And we talked about this before too, your husband has a very big personality and his friends all have big personalities and I asked you if this was part of that defense mechanism in order to fit in around them and you had said, “No, that’s actually what attracted me to him.”


Jill: Yeah, absolutely, because I like that energy, like I like to have somebody that is strong and has that nice, big presence to be able to, (a), match me and then for us to be able to be compatible in a way that we’re constantly pushing each other to be our best.


Billy: I imagine that mentality lent itself well in your corporate job and one of the reasons we wanted to have you on following Dr. Dawn Graham is because you made a huge transition from the corporate world to being your own boss now. Can you walk us through that transition? So, if you just kind of start out, like what did you do at the beginning of this journey? What were you doing? 


Jill: Sure. So, at the beginning of this journey, I was working at an advertising agency as a regional sales manager and transitioned back into a marketing role with a former company that I used to work with as an account manager and then that was where I was just like, “Okay, I’m ready to be done with the corporate world.”


Billy: So what was it about the corporate world where you’re like, “I just gotta go, I gotta get out of here”?


Jill: Yeah, I just kind of really felt towards the end, I wasn’t able to really be who I wanted to be. I wasn’t able to be myself. Every time I looked at a different job, I looked at how are my values being honored? Am I honoring my values? Are they honoring my values? And towards the end, it was just a breakdown in values. 


Brian: Plus, you weren’t the boss.


Jill: Well, yeah, right, and I think for me too, like for a lot of the times, I felt like, “Okay, I’m okay being a follower,” but yet I was a really strong leader in the different things that I was doing in the teams that I was leading, I had a lot of great skills as a leader.


Billy: And so you actually worked with a life coach during this time, correct?


Jill: Correct.


Billy: So what was the influence she had on you in seeking out these new positions? Because you went from working in Minneapolis and then you moved to Chicago for a few years and then you came back to Minneapolis, so can you talk about how the life coach was involved in some of those decisions?


Jill: Sure. When I first met my life coach, she was somebody that I had an acquaintance with in a previous job and so as she started working with me, I was going through a tough time in my role and I was having some employee issues and we were also sort of struggling a little bit with being in Chicago just because there was a lot of things that were going on both personally and professionally and I just kind of felt like I was stuck, like I was moving forward a couple steps and then all of a sudden I get thrown back like three or four, so I picked up my life coach to be like, okay, something is just not working, what is this?


Billy: Were you in Chicago when you started working with your life coach or were you in Minneapolis?


Jill: I was in Chicago.


Billy: Okay. So what prompted the move from Minneapolis to Chicago in the first place?


Jill: My job. I had gotten an offer to move to Chicago for my role and we just said, “Yeah, let’s do that,” and, plus, I had a girlfriend that lived out there that was going through a tough time and I really wanted to be with her and support her in that in her journey of what was going on with her so we were just like, “All right, if we’re gonna do this, let’s move downtown.” My job was out in Oakbrook so I commuted every day as well.


Billy: So how long did you guys live in Chicago before you decided to come back?


Jill: Four years.


Billy: And did you decide to come back because of something that the life coach had suggested or something that resonated with you in your discussions with the life coach?


Jill: Yeah, it wasn’t something that she suggested, it was the journey of having a life coach is all about like uncovering the things that are deep within yourself, and taking action and moving forward on what those actions are. So, for us, we were in Chicago, we came back to Minnesota for Father’s Day weekend and my husband was talking about his job and how things weren’t going well and I said, “We just need to move back to Minneapolis,” and he’s like, “I’m sorry, what? I thought you said we were never moving back here,” and I’m like, “I think we just need to.” He said, “Where is this coming from?” I go, “I don’t know but I said it, there’s gotta be something to it.” So, June 19th, we decided we were moving back to Minneapolis. We found a place to rent in North Minneapolis on July 15th and we moved August 1st.


Brian: How did you break the news to Charlie?


Jill: Charlie is still with me.


Brian: Okay, he came along.


Jill: He comes with.


Brian: Good, good.


Jill: He’s everywhere.


Billy: And I think that’s one of the things that I really appreciate about you is that once you have made your mind up, there’s no waffling.


Jill: No.


Billy: So, as someone who overanalyzes and struggles with paralysis by analysis, how would you counsel someone in that situation? Like when you’re talking to people and they’re wishy-washy, what do you say to them? How do you get them to be more direct?


Jill: Well, you have to understand what’s holding them back from being direct, like there’s a reason that they’re not being direct. There’s a fear there of the unknown, of the uncertain, so it’s really getting down to that core, it’s like peeling back an onion, getting to the core of that to just say, “Okay, now that we’re at the core, now what do you wanna do?” Because, generally, your first thought is that you want to take action, you want to do something and then your second thought is, “No, I can’t do that,” so then you don’t and then you have your paralysis by analysis because then you go through all the reasons why you can’t when if you just peel it back, get to that center and just say, “Okay, now what?” then just go.


Billy: I wish I could…like I said, it’s one of the things that I’ve always admired about you because you’re able to just make that decision and go, go, go, and, Brian, I feel like you’re the same way too, like you see it and you go for it and I see it and I need to, you know, what are the 80 reasons I should do it and what are the 75 that I shouldn’t do it, like that’s how my brain works. So, when you peeled back the onion with your life coach, what were some of the things that spoke to you?


Jill: Yeah, so, for me, it was I’m not good enough. I’m not lovable. I need to fit in. I need approval. So, all of those I’m not enough and I’m not worthy were at the core of all of that. And its things that I still continue to work through, which is why I enjoy so much the Reiki, the energy healing, the crystals, using all of those different tools that I’ve pulled along the way to put into my toolkit to be able to help me in those various moments that come up.


Billy: So, then, how is life coaching different from therapy or how is life coaching different from working with a job coach as it all blended into one?


Brian: Or how is it the same, if it’s the same, I guess?


Jill: Yeah, I wouldn’t say it’s the same, I do think that they complement each other and I would say if you have a life coach, certainly a therapist is also a great thing to have as well because, for me, how I see it, again, my opinion, is a life coach is working with the present and the future. Where is it that you are currently and where do you want to go? What are the steps that you need to take to get there? And then, as far as for me for therapy, it’s, okay, well, here’s where you’re at and here’s where you were, let’s work on the past, let’s really get down into that past to be able to get you comfortable in the present. And a job coach is, “Okay, here’s what you’re looking for the industry and let’s do your resume, let’s get you out in these different areas, what are your skills? What would be a good fit for?” Now, I also do work with people that are stuck in their careers and they want a different change or they’re looking for something to be able to grow in their current field and what are those skills that they need to be able to develop, so they all kind of complement one another in various ways.


Billy: So what would you say you had to uncover or heal from your past in order to be open to new experiences?


Jill: Yeah, for me, I’m adopted and there is abandonment in that and it’s just wondering, okay, why is it that previous thought belief was “Why did she leave me?” and now I’ve come to the realization was that, “Well, that was her greatest act of love was to give me life,” because her other option was to have an abortion and not have a life whatsoever. So, just being connected with her in that way, of that love is love and that’s all energy and healing from that and then just realizing that within myself, I need to have love myself first, it doesn’t matter where that’s coming from, it lives within me.


Billy: So what we want to do is we’re going to take a quick break because I know part of that healing process was you going to visit a shaman.


Jill: Correct. 


Billy: So when we come back, we’re going to hear that story about Jill working with her shaman and then we’re also going to learn about what it would be like to work with Jill as your life coach. Thank you for listening to The Mindful Midlife Crisis. 


Thanks for listening to The Mindful Midlife Crisis. We will do our best to put out new content every Wednesday to help get you over the midweek hump. If you’d like to contact us or if you have suggestions about what you’d like us to discuss, feel free to email us at or follow us on Instagram at @mindful_midlife_crisis. Check out the show notes for links to the articles and resources we reference throughout the show. Oh, and don’t forget to show yourself some love every now and then too. And now, back to the show.


Billy: Welcome back to The Mindful Midlife Crisis. We are here with life coach and certified yoga instructor Jill Dahler and when we left off, she was going to tell us about the experience that she had with a shaman in order to heal some of those past wounds so that she could get to a point where she loves herself. So, Jill, can you tell us what was that shaman experience like, and take no offense that you’re talking to two guys who are kind of proof for purchase, sciency, data nerds, so we might have some questions for you.


Jill: Which is fair. That’s great. So, for me, my shaman experience was this was the first time I had seen a shaman. I was having some left side of my body pain, in my left hip, and a couple weeks prior, a girlfriend of mine after a conversation that we had had pulled a tarot card to ask what’s the medicine that I need for healing and it turned up to be a reversed otter, so an upside down otter, meaning there was some love that I was not receiving from the universe, there was some feminine energy that was being blocked, and when I looked up sort of, okay, what’s going on the left side of the body, which is the feminine side of the body, it all just started to like dot the i’s, cross the t’s as far as like, hey, this is sort of something going on that I need to check out and it was on a shaman website so I just did a Google, “Shaman near me,” found this lovely gentleman and wanted to make sure that he was in person because that was important so went to his place here in Minneapolis and he works with tobacco, that’s his — he works with plants for his healing and tobacco in a bowl and he works with the smoke. So, in my session, he was blowing smoke in my core, my power center, he was blowing smoke in my back, down the whole left side of my body, and in that experience he also saw my mom had shown up behind me, my adoptive mother who passed away five months ago, and so he was also working with her and healing her energy on her path so that she can continue through. 


Billy: Did you go to the shaman before or after she passed? 


Jill: After she passed.


Billy: Okay, so this is recent. 


Jill: Yes, this was like weeks ago and —


Billy: Oh, wow. 


Jill: Yeah, yeah. So that was part of it too, like in thinking about that feminine energy, there was talking about loss of a female figure or having relationship troubles with a female figure so I knew that there had to be something there from my mom passing. So, in that experience, he healed her for her journey and then he also asked me about my biological mother and I had just told him that I had gotten to a place where I was feeling okay with her and that’s when we had had our conversation about the greatest gift that she gave me was life and so he sent her some love, sent her some energy, and then he also did what’s called the soul retrieval. Between the time that I was born and adopted, I was in a foster home for two weeks, so he pulled in that energy from those two weeks that I was in transition and blew them back into me, if you will, like he blew smoke into the top of my head and just gave me back my soul that was missing for those two weeks so that was in transition. It was phenomenal. When I left, I just felt like I had finally landed in myself and it was just something that took me a week or so to just realize what had really happened as I was processing my experience. But, yeah, I just finally felt like I landed someplace and that I was in no more need of seeking for love and validation, like I felt like I got that now in myself and now I know what direction what I want to do next to continue my path of healing. 


Billy: And so what’s that direction? 


Jill: For me, it’s healing the inner child, setting boundaries for myself, looking at where I have codependency relationships, taking responsibility for myself and the actions that I have, some of those different — and playing, like play like a kid, like I had to ask myself, “What is it that I want to play? Or what is play as a 45-year-old woman? I don’t know. So let’s dance. Let’s do some things that invite play.” 


Billy: So is that where the yoga then starts to come in a little bit more? I mean, you opened up the yoga studio a few years ago but do you see this yoga studio now as more of an opportunity for you to play? 


Jill: Absolutely, absolutely, to play and build a community, to play with some of the different modalities of how other people can come for wellness and look at it on a holistic view, which is how we advertise ourselves is because it’s not just about the physical practice of yoga, it’s understanding about all of the different things that yoga can offer you on the mat and off the mat. And to get to be creative and create classes and flows and experiences for people. 


Billy: We were just talking about during the segment break here, like, Brian, you’re doing Pilates now.


Brian: I am, yeah. I just started mat Pilates yesterday. 


Billy: And what’s that like for you? 


Brian: It’s kind of like torture. No, no, no. No, it’s very interesting, actually. I love it already after just one class, and my wife was big into it and she gave me a little prep work on it too but I had no idea it was so involved. That’s the thing that really opened my eyes, like, oh my gosh, it’s subtle movements but when you move subtly correctly, you can do a lot for your body. 


Billy: And having talked about my sore neck and all stuff like that, I’m an idiot for not doing things like Pilates and doing things like yoga because I’m so much in the bro mindset, like big weights, and if people don’t know because you’ve never seen me before, I’m five nine, 150-something pounds, and so I’m not a big guy so, really, I should be doing more yoga because when you’re as intense and hyperactive as I am, it might be a good thing to slow down my brain and that sort of thing. When I do yoga, I like doing the yin yoga, which is more of the restorative yoga, the slow practice yoga where you hold poses longer, because when we start getting into those flows, where it’s, “We’ll go in the up dog, now in the down dog, now kick your leg up high,” that shit goes way too fast for me. But that practice in and of itself is a mindfulness practice because you really are in tune with your body. 


Jill: Absolutely, and I would have prescribed yin yoga for you as well. We have, in our building where our studio is located, we have a chiropractor that’s just two doors down and he’s huge in CrossFit and he would come in on Tuesday nights pre-COVID and do yin and he would brag when he would come back on Thursday night that on Wednesday and Thursday, when he lifted with his group, he PR’d every Wednesday, and on Thursday, he was still number one in his group for performance. So, yin works.


Billy: Yeah. I might need to get a membership to JMD Wellness.


Brian: Speaking of things that work, I’m not going to rag on you for going to a shaman because you mentioned earlier we’re a bunch of science guys but I think anything that helps your brain do something positive for your mind or body is a worthwhile exercise.


Jill: Absolutely. And the great thing about that is you get to connect it, like how does the mind and the body connect? I did not tell you that when I left the shaman, my whole left side, awesome. No more pain in my left side. Everything’s been great ever since my release. 


Billy: And we talked about that too with Kristen Brown when she was on and she was talking about energy and really it just kind of comes down to like you need to be open to it because if you’re not open to it, then absolutely the skeptic will take over.


Brian: If it’s helpful for you and it’s not damaging, such as drugs and alcohol, doesn’t damage your relationships or your physical body, it’s probably okay. It’s worth doing. 


Billy: So, you started the yoga studio and then you went and got your life coach certification? 


Jill: No, I was a life coach first and then got my yoga teacher certification right before I received my certification, my final. 


Billy: So why did you marry those two? Were they a separate realization or was it a confluence of influence? 


Jill: They were a confluence of influence. I would say life coaching opened me up to know that there’s greater things for me and when I moved back to Minneapolis, I was looking for a community and I wanted to do yoga so I found a studio in uptown and within a few seconds of having a conversation with the studio owner there, I just really realized that, yep, this is the community that I want to be a part of and then I really enjoyed the physical practice and the things that I was hearing and the language that she was saying during class, which started to make me realize that, okay, this is more than a physical practice. This is something more that I want to find out about, and she had talked me into doing the yoga teacher training and as a part of that, it’s all about, okay, what do you let go of and what do you want to bring in? And, for me, mine was I want to let go of my corporate job and I want to own a yoga studio. And so I declared that in 2016 and I opened up our first location in 2018. 


Billy: So then how does your life coaching and your yoga coaching mesh? 


Jill: Yeah, so it’s all in how you approach each student. Every student is an individual, every client is an individual, and how can we talk about the different things that are holding you back in your practice that are also holding you back in your life, because if you’re stuck in one area, you’re stuck in all areas. So, if you have stuck words in your mind, you also have stuck in your body, perhaps with that painful neck, Billy.


Billy: So it’s more than just paralysis by analysis, it could very well be actual paralysis in my neck. 


Jill: Could be. 


Brian: Let me ask you this. What’s the ratio of men to women at the studio? 


Jill: Currently at my studio, it’s really high females, low males.


Brian: Percentage wise, if you had to ballpark it. 


Jill: I’m going 90 percent female. 


Brian: Billy, another good reason you got to start yoga.


Jill: That’s just my studio. I’m in —


Brian: Represent, man. 


Jill: Yeah, yeah, I’m in suburban Minneapolis. 


Billy: Right, and it’s always a good question and I guess I’m the walking example of why don’t we embrace these kind of modalities more and as enlightened as I like to pretend to be sometimes, it’s very easy for me to fall back into bad habits. Like I feel like the summer not having structure around the school day and that kind of thing, it’s been very easy for me to waste the day and the day that we’re recording this, it’s August 10th, and August is the Sunday of summer and August goes so quickly, like we’re almost halfway through with August and this trip is coming up very quickly and I think about what have I done this summer and this podcast has been one thing but is there more that I could have done and people were like, “Oh, you should just relax.” But I don’t feel fulfilled when I’m relaxing all the time. So, for someone like me who would maybe come and work with you, where are they most often stuck? 


Jill: Yeah, and I think everyone’s very different. A lot of the times, it’s like you had just said, you’re stuck in your own head and you’re stuck in the comfort zone. So, what is it that it’s going to take to get you outside of that comfort zone, to try something different, and thinking about in that rest, well, why? Why doesn’t it bring you fulfillment? What happens when you do rest? Do you think about things that you don’t want to think about? Are you not wanting to feel certain emotions that might be coming up there? Are there different things that you’re avoiding? So it’s just understanding a little bit more of what it is that’s — where you’re at? Where are you at right now? What do you want? And how can we move that forward? So I have a private client that I work with who has a lot of anxiety and so him and I work on breathwork, we work on yin poses, and just allowing him to locate, “Where is my breath? How is it moving?” and when his mind starts to go and race into all of these shoulds, woulds, coulds, I’m not good enoughs, then it’s, “Okay, let’s bring you back to your breath. Let’s start to feel that into your body,” and so for him and I, we very much combine life coaching and yoga and mindfulness, which is all of that, in our one-on-one sessions. 


Billy: It sounds like it’s almost inevitable that it’s an emotional release for your clients. 


Jill: Definitely. I think it’s both emotional and it can be physical, like the same gentleman that I’m working with, he’s noticed a lot of physical changes in his body. He used to go to physical therapy for his shoulder and his neck, which since we’ve been doing yin, he hasn’t done that in the last four months, he hasn’t been to his physical therapist. So, again, this isn’t for — I mean, everyone has their own experience but he definitely has seen great results and he’s also experienced where, “I can now finally locate where my anxiety sits in my body and I know when it’s coming and now I have a few things that I can do to have a little bit of a lesser of an anxiety attack,” and he also finally has felt what it’s like to be grounded, which he’s like, “I’ve never really realized my feet on the ground before.”


Billy: Wow, that resonated with me completely. I know where I feel my anxiety but I’ve said this before that I haven’t been great about my mindfulness practice and I think that’s where a lot of the emotion and the tension that I’m feeling emotionally and physically is coming from and I feel like a big barrier, particularly for me because you know me well, is do I want to spend money on this. So, then, I imagine, how is that a barrier for people who don’t realize that this is an investment, this is not you spending money, like I’ll spend money on horrible food later, you know what I mean? But this is an investment that could actually make me feel emotionally, physically better to the point where I would actually be productive, which is where I oftentimes have this block. So I guess how do you get them to the point where it’s like, “Hey, I understand that this is a financial commitment but it is something that’s in your best interest,” or do you have to let them come to that conclusion themselves? 


Jill: Generally, my first question is, “What’s the cost of you staying the same? If we’re going to have this conversation in three months and you’re feeling the same, how much have you wasted in that three months?” So then it becomes a little bit more about that and I think too there’s just sometimes people need to be open to receive and know that, “Okay, I have to do something. Now is the time I need to do something.” 


Billy: So then, when we talked to Sally Kathryn Love earlier on, she talked about she has a screening process for her dating clients to see if they’re good fits for her services and I’m just wondering do you do the same? 


Jill: Yeah, I do. I have a 30-minute free discovery session that I do with clients. We go through and talk about what do you know about coaching, what is your belief about that, do you have any experiences, and then we go through a coaching session, like we do a 15-minute coaching conversation and then talk about, “Okay, here’s what I would give you for homework, here’s what I would give you for a challenge. This is what a coaching session could look like. Is this something that is gonna be — do you see value in this for yourself?”


Brian: What’s your success rate on something like that? when you do a 30-minuter, how many of those are conversions and go, “Yeah, I think I should do this?” 


Jill: I’m about 50 percent on that. 


Brian: That’s damn good. 


Jill: Yeah.


Brian: That’s damn good considering a normal close ratio, good close ratio for a salesperson is 30 percent.


Jill: Sure, and I feel like in that session, you build a little bit more of a relationship as well and this is most of the time building up that relationship before you even get to that discussion as well so that’s where I feel like I’ve gotten a little bit better rates. 


Brian: I see now why you are a successful salesperson, because all the best salespeople know that it’s the relationship and not the product. 


Jill: Yeah, which is why I didn’t do well at the buckle.


Billy: Well, you said this a couple of times that you were unapologetically you and you’re very direct. You are the anti-Minnesotan. You’re very direct in your approach, you’re very direct in the way that you deliver your message. I imagine that your clients respond well to that.


Jill: Generally, yeah, and we designed that alliance when we go into a coaching relationship. It is what is it that you need from me to be able to get the results that you’re looking for and then what is it that we can design in that, like, for me, it’s all about I’m going to be honest and I’m going to be direct and I’m going to interrupt where necessary because, also, I’m not about being a part of a conversation where a client is just beating themselves up, like I’ll interrupt that because I want there to be an opportunity for growth and to understand you just don’t need to do that to find growth. 


Billy: Well, I can say that you have unofficially been my life coach for the last 20 years. My condos have always been decorated by you and one of my favorite things is, I remember when we went to decorate my condo a few years ago, well, it was a long time ago, actually, and we went to — what did we go to? Home Goods, and you said, “How much do I get to spend?” and I said, “Here’s my budget,” and you said, “That’s not gonna work,” and we went all through the budget, but, damn, my place looked really, really nice and my place now looks really, really nice because, from Chicago, I was taking pictures of my place and Jill said, “You need this here, you need this here, you need to put something right there,” and I just feel really at home at my home and a big part of that is because of your ability to see things and know what they need in that space and I know that you’re able to do that with the people that you are life coaching as well. 


Brian: That’s really interesting, because my mother-in-law is a yoga teacher trainer, they run a school down in Costa Rica, and she also has an incredible flair for design and energy flow and spaces, like when she’s going, you just let her go because no matter how crazy it sounds, it’s always going to turn out fantastic. 


Jill: It’s all about understanding the individual and creating the experience that they’re going to connect to. 


Billy: I would agree with that because there have definitely been times when I’ve pointed, I’m like, “What do you what do you think about that?” just because I think it looks nice and she’s like, “That’s not you.” I’m like, “Oh,” yeah, you’re right, like I just thought maybe Jill would like that and maybe you — and you would say, “I like that but that’s not gonna work in your space.” And so it always feels good if I find something and I’m like, “What do you think of this?” “Yeah, I like that.” So, if Jill gives the final seal of approval, I’m not going to lie, because words of affirmation is one of my love languages, then I feel even better, especially when it comes from Jill. So, Jill, thank you for years and years of being an unofficial life coach of mine and I think when I come back from this trip, you may need to become my official life coach. So, with that, thank you so much for being here, Jill. We really, really appreciate it. Thanks for coming back a second time after our last mishap. We appreciate that as well. 


Jill: Yeah, this was awesome. Thanks for having me. 


Billy: You can find Jill at We’ll put that in the show notes. You can find her on Instagram at @Jill.Dahler. You can also go to and you can follow them on Instagram at @JMDWellness. They have classes there. They have motivational messages. They have offers there for you to get involved. Jill, you do virtual lessons as well. 


Jill: Absolutely. 


Billy: All right. No excuse for you not to get in contact with Jill. I strongly recommend it. So, for Jill, for Brian, this is Billy, thank you for listening to The Mindful Midlife Crisis. May you feel happy, healthy, and loved. Take care, friends.