The Mindful Midlife Crisis

Episode 118--On to the Next Chapter

December 27, 2023 Billy Lahr
The Mindful Midlife Crisis
Episode 118--On to the Next Chapter
Show Notes Transcript

Journey's end and new beginnings intertwine in this heartfelt farewell to the Mindful Midlife Crisis podcast as Billy and Matt toast to three transformative years. With nostalgia as our companion, I stroll down memory lane, reflecting on the peaks and valleys traversed in pursuing purpose and passion. Transitioning from a microphone to a classroom, I unveil the joys of my upcoming adventure—empowering adults in Seoul with the art of business English. Infused with the insights of my mindfulness meditation teacher certification, I explore the philosophies that now steer my educational approach. As we bid adieu to this podcast, I thank you, our listeners, for embarking on this journey with us, reminding you to continue cherishing personal growth and life's ever-evolving beauty. Take care, friends.


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Billy:  Coming up on The Mindful Midlife Crisis

I'll be honest it feels refreshing to let this podcast go and know and feel sincerely like I did my best with it and that feels good. And it feels like a sense of completion that this chapter in my life is now complete and I feel good about it and I'm ready to move on to the next chapter.

Billy:  Welcome to The Mindful Midlife Crisis, a podcast for people navigating the complexities and possibilities of life's second half. I'm your host, Billy Lahr, an educator, personal trainer, meditation teacher and overthinker who talks to experts who specialize in social and emotional learning. Mindfulness, physical and emotional wellness, cultural awareness, finances, communication, relationships, dating, and parenting all in an effort to help us better reflect, learn, and grow so we can live a more purpose-filled life.

Take a deep breath, embrace the present, and journey with me through The Mindful Midlife Crisis.


Billy:  Welcome to The Mindful Midlife Crisis. I'm your host, Billy Lahr. Thank you for tuning in wherever you are. The purpose of this show is to help you navigate the complexities and possibilities of life's second half using my no BS GPS guide to finding more purpose and passion in your life, because I am sick and tired of people telling you to follow your passions. Because that is complete and utter nonsense. You can also probably hear it in my voice I'm so sick and tired of it that it's made me sick and tired. What do you do? Purpose and passion are destinations, not starting points. So if you need some direction in getting to that place in your life, join the Mindful Midlife community at www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.com and get my free six-step roadmap to living your life with more purpose and passion. I also share how practicing intentional and mindful living over the last 10 years has helped me navigate the trials, tribulations and successes of my own midlife crisis. Being more intentional and mindful has helped me process my ruminating thoughts, anxiety and stress in a much healthier way, by reducing my emotional reactivity and impulsive behavior, which, in turn, has helped me improve my relationships and communication with others, as well as be more consistent, disciplined, patient and productive in meeting my goals. These are the same skills, strategies and resources I use in my personal life, based on years of research and experimentation, to find a bit more calm amidst the chaos. And, trust me, there are still days when I'm a hot mess, but my hope is that by sharing my experiences, as well as the experiences of my guests, you'll see that you're not alone in your experience. So if you're looking for a little more direction and clarity in your life, visit www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.com. Join our Mindful Midlife community and let me be your GPS to finding more purpose and passion in life. And now it's time for my favorite part of the show, because once again I'm joined by my best good pal. The always entertaining, the one, the only, Matt Hazard. Matt, what have you got for us today?


Matt: Give me only what I need. I don't take too much and get me satisfied. Down to work for my money and earn my keep. Hungers got a way to take my man's pride.

Billy:  Oh damn, soulful, soulful. What's that?


Matt: It's actually famously now in a Chevy commercial. It's the one that's like pew-de-doo-doo, pew-de-doo-doo, pew-de-doo, it's like this cool tune and it's like heavy duty. It's by this incredible band called Rival Sons, and I saw them this last summer open for smashing pumpkins. Oh wow, and they were incredible. It was my favorite part of the show. No disrespect to Billy Corgan, the whole show was great. But yeah, Rival Sons one of my very favorite bands and that was a little bit of a tip of the cap. Nod of the head to our good pal Pete Bourvin, If he does listen to this episode. It was one of his favorite bands too, so I wanted to just lay that one down.


Billy:  Very nice, very nice, very soulful song choice for today and in fact, it's the last song choice, not necessarily of the year, but it's also the last song choice of this show. So, Matt Hazard and I, we are celebrating three years of The Mindful Midlife Crisis today. Cheers to you. I've got my ginger tea and what is it that you're drinking? You're drinking something very fancy.

Matt: I'm drinking this lovely bottle of Weller 12 year bourbon aged bourbon. It's a very fancy bottle. It's not that expensive if you find it on the shelf. But you will never find it on the shelf. It's an aftermarket couple hundred bucks. But anywho, lovely bottle, super smooth.

Billy:  Cheers to you, cheers to us, cheers to three years. Billy, you sound great. Oh, I listen. If I were to try and sing that song that you just sang, I would sound like Peter Brady from the Beaty Bunch. It would not go well, it would not go well at all. It would be real, real bad. Yes, we are closing up shop here at The Mindful Midlife Crisis podcast. I've been doing the show for three years and it's been an amazing experience, but my life trajectory is now taking me in a new direction and I feel like this part of my story, this chapter, is coming to a close. In fact, I'm so exhausted of talking about it that my voice has gone out as well. So it reminds me of what is it? The outsiders. Do you remember the outsiders with Johnny Boy and the Greasers and the Seussians?


Matt: I remember it.

Billy:  I never saw it, you never read it either. Oh, what a travesty. So, anyway, there's the Allude to the Robert Frost poem in there, where at the end it says nothing gold ever stays. So we talk about impermanence on this show. I talked about that in the episode about the cherry blossoms how these beautiful beings come into our life and then over time they fade away because the seasons change. Right, and that's what's happening now is I'm in a new season of my life and I'm going in a different direction here and leaving The Mindful Midlife Crisis podcast in the past, and part of that is because I don't like what I've done to the show. I listen to too many people, particularly podcast business coaches not my podcast business coach, because Kevin Palmieri is amazing but I listen to too many other ones. Tell me how to do the show and it reminds me of are you familiar with that story of the old man and the son and the donkey, where they're walking along and they have the donkey and the son and they're like oh, it's cruel to your son, why don't you throw him on top of the donkey and so he doesn't have to walk so far? So then they do that and they get to the next town and they're like, oh my gosh, how inconsiderate of the elderly, the old man should be on top. So then he gets up on top and then, like, they both get on top and then all the poor donkey, da, da, da, da da. And so they're carrying the donkey and then they get to a bridge and the donkey falls into the water, and it's something along the lines of when you listen to too many of your critics, you end up losing your voice, right. So there's that story. So that to me, that's kind of what I've done here. I feel like I've done that, because one thing that they would say is hey, you'll never make money if you treat your podcast like a hobby, and that's true. But I put so much pressure on myself to make money from this podcast that it made it way less fun and I also think it's prevented me from truly enjoying this journey that I've been on for the last two and a half years. I remember Brian on the base. He tried to tell me dude, don't worry about the podcast while you're traveling. But the podcast did give me purpose, to give me something to do. But, like I said, I'm no longer in love with the format of this show and nor do I enjoy the amount of time, energy and money that's required to put out a show week after week. So it's just really turning into a really expensive hobby and as a music guy I know you understand that it's really easy to get lost in Collecting gear and adding this and that to your musical for sure why are.


Matt: Yeah, that's I mean, listen, it's. There is a diminishing return. At some point where we're not all Joe Rogan, we're not all Jason Bateman and Conan O'Brien. There is a point at which you've fought the good fight, you've tried to reach people where they are and either the message lands or it doesn't. And you try and produce the best thing that you can and you try and convey the message that you're trying to convey and I feel like we've done that and, you know, hopefully it resonates with the people that want to receive that message, but it's just not enough of them, frankly.

Billy:  Yeah, and I think the problem, the reason why that happened, is because the one piece of advice that I did ignore All this time, that I should have heated was niche down, and I was trying to be everything to everyone, but I don't think most people between the ages of 35 and 55 Resonate with my story. I'm a 46 year old dude, never married, no kids, I'm traveling the world and I'm a mindfulness teacher with generalized anxiety. That's pretty specific Right there, and I don't know how many 35 to 55 year olds people in midlife really resonate with that. Like I said, I feel like I was trying to be Everything to everyone, so I thought about well, what is my niche? What is it that I really, really, really know? So, moving forward, I'm gonna use my experiences as a teacher, a dean and a digital nomad to provide support for Educators and remote workers who are feeling emotionally hijacked due to burnout, isolation and self-limiting beliefs, because these are the roles and experiences that led me to therapy and Mindfulness in the first place. I believe I can use my own experiences, combined with my mindfulness Meditation teaching certification that I recently earned, to be what I like to call an emotional hostage Negotiator. How's that from marketing right there. So I want to be this emotional hostage negotiator for school administrators, teachers and digital nomads. That does that mean I'm going to start a new podcast and rebrand this podcast? No, I don't see myself doing that. I don't see that happening anytime soon or ever, if I'm being honest, unless I'm offered, like a sweet sponsorship deal. I think that's. What was missing is that you have to have a marketing team to put together these sponsorship deals, and One thing that I've had to remind myself of is that I am just one man, right, I am just an army of one, and there are a lot of things that if I focus on that stuff, then I can't concentrate on putting together great content. But if I do decide to bring a new podcast back, you'll be the first to know, and I want to thank you all for listening to this podcast.

Matt: So, Billy, the thing that I'll say is, yes, maybe you are not the every man for every 35 to 55 year old, but we're all specific people. You are maybe in a somewhat of an outlier to where many of us in our mid middle-aged Sit, where we all have many of us have children, many of us have wives, many of us have are in a different place in our life Then where you are at. But I will tell you, I am fucking fascinated by your life, like I like. So the reason that I was a consistent listener before being, you know, your sidekick for this last leg, it's because I was really interested in you and what you were doing, where you were in your life, the topics you were exploring. So, at least for me in my life as a friend, as someone that I care about a good deal, I'm always going to be curious about what's going on in your life and care about you, and I just love that. I was here for this part of the adventure for you and I'm really happy to have done that.

Billy:  Well, I thank you for that. That's very, very kind of you and because you're my friend, I know you're gonna support, but you have supported Beyond what I could even imagine and it's been great and that's why I love having you on the show To. I think what it just got to I was putting the pressure on myself to sell my services and really all I ever wanted to do is just have conversations with people and if people are like, why don't you just go back to that? It really just comes down to the time and money that goes into putting out an episode week after week after week, and I'm trying to be financially conscious about that, as I'm transitioning now from this world traveler to now teaching business English to adults here in Seoul starting next summer, which is a big change and we'll come back to that in a second here. But for the last year I've been working on becoming a certified mindfulness meditation teacher through mindfulness exercises with Sean Fargo, and actually on Thanksgiving I was informed that I had completed the necessary requirements to earn my certification. So we'll give a little applause for that right there. So yeah, thank you, thank you. So when I look back on the last three years of this podcast. I can say that these conversations that I've been having have inspired me to take the necessary steps to continue honing my craft and developing my knowledge and skills as a teacher, which I truly believe is my purpose in life. It's just that the way I teach is different. I used to teach English and then I used to teach socially, emotional and organizational skills to students when I was a dean. And moving forward, I'll be doing both here in Seoul, because I'll still be leading meditative mingle sessions every Monday evening at 8 pm central time. If you're in Seoul, that's at 11 am. Here in Korea, in the winter and in the spring and summer it's at 10 am, because they don't do that whole daylight savings time thing. Here it's just the same time. You're smart, makes things a little bit complicated. It is smart, I like it, but it complicates things when I'm trying to schedule stuff like that. But I'll also be doing one-on-one coaching sessions with educators and digital nomads, so that'll be. My focus is educators and digital nomads who are feeling emotionally hijacked due to burnout, isolation, self-eliminating beliefs, and then I will also be teaching business English to adults here in Seoul, as I mentioned, and I know in the past I said I would never go back to teaching. This is a decision that I've really been struggling with for the past year or so, because every conversation I have with someone here in Seoul eventually goes like this if you love Seoul so much, why don't you get a job teaching English here so you can stay? And I'm always like, listen, I taught for 20 years, I don't want to do it anymore. Besides, in my mind, going back to teaching felt like such a huge step backwards and it felt like I was admitting defeat. But I've reframed that lately and it reminds me of that scene in the pursuit of happiness with Will and Jaden Smith, where Jaden is telling his dad this joke about how this guy's boat sank and he's lost at sea. So he prayed to the Lord to save him. And then this other boat comes along and says climb in, we'll save you. And the man is like I'm waiting on the Lord to save me. And then another ship goes by and the crew is like climb in, we'll save you. And the guy is like, oh, I'm waiting for the Lord to save me, but he ends up drowning. And so when he gets to heaven he's like Lord, how come you didn't save me when I asked you for help and the Lord replied I sent you two lifeboats dumb. So I see teaching adults business English as a life raft, but it's also going to be a much different teaching experience because these are adults whose companies are paying them to be there and they are committed to doing the work. And I think that goes back to finding your crew, because you want to surround yourself with people who appreciate and support the work that you do, just like what we talked about last week. But when you're a teacher at a public school, I think we give so much of ourselves to our students and, in my experience, most teachers are selfless but, as we've talked about in the past, being too selfless leads to burnout. It reminds me of this great Instagram post that I saw by. His name is Coach Luca I think it's Hochever or something like that, but Coach Luca, he's a strength. He's the strength coach for the Seattle Seawolves Rugby team and he has worked with tens of thousands of clients. And this poster really struck a cord with me. He wrote remember you can't want people to change more than they want to change. Imagine you have a coaching bank account of care units and a care unit is your coaching currency. It represents your time, compassion, energy, attention and all good things you bring to coaching. And imagine you have up to 10 care units per client and one is I don't care at all and 10 is all the carry. And your client also has an account of care units. And your client is juggling many other things in their lives and they have a limited amount to spend on this change. And the key is he says you should care one care unit less than your client about their goals. And the reason for that is because over time, your commitment to the change process will turn into an obligation to prove yourself and your client that you can solve any problem and you'll attach your successes and failures to your coaching. And that's really what was happening to me in education. And you push hard for them to change and very likely directly causing them not to change, and then you'll burn the hell out. And this is what was happening to me over the course of my professional career. My care units were always at a 10, because even though I genuinely want to help people, that turns into desperation and frustration when they don't follow through with what I structure for them and then that desperation and frustration gets projected onto them, and then they either revolt or shut down. And when you work in education, you're not just given the permission to care less about your students or, even worse, give up. That's the cardinal sin. So what we see is 19 to 30% of teachers leaving the profession due to burnout in their first five years, according to a learning policy institute research study. And that's a huge problem because we are experiencing a teacher shortage all around the world, and I'm sure there are people out there listening who are like well, dude, you left teaching, so what are you even talking about? And here's the thing I was burned out way back in 2010. I was applying for every job I could find to get out of that classroom, but it was almost as if that desperation and frustration followed me into whatever interview I was going into, and it was just palpable. So when 2013 hit, I was so burned out I couldn't sleep due to anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, all things I talked about in episode three. And that's when I turned to therapy and that's when I was introduced to mindfulness. And even though I was still working with the same challenging students year after year, my outlook in my mood and my perspective changed so much that, when the next school year rolled around, one of my students said to me Mr Lara, you seem like you're in a better mood this year. And that's when I decided it was time for me to share this magical gift of mindfulness with the world. Because I thought to myself man, if this helps a nut job like me, who else can it help? And years later I was like, when I got into podcasts and listening to those, I was like, oh, I probably could do something like that. I bet I could create a platform that helps people navigate the complexities and possibilities of life. And I'm in this midlife stage right now. And yeah, though it's too broad of a topic and a lot of material and nuanced life experiences to tackle, I like to think that over the past three years these conversations have helped some of you out. But as I look back on the past few months marketing this whole no BS GPS guide to find a purpose and passion in life, I can hear that same frustration and desperation in my voice in these past episodes because things aren't moving along as quickly as I would like and my care units were at a 10 again, but because I was trying to be everything to everyone, all people in midlife, 35, 55, whatever. I didn't have a niche. I again burned myself out and I'm ready to let it go for good this time, and I really do feel like this chapter in my life is complete and it's time to start writing a new chapter. And I know that it's the right decision. And I know that I feel good about it because I'm not crying about it like I normally do in episodes.

Matt: Billy, can I tell you a story that will maybe give you just a little bit of hope, and it may even be a story I've told on the podcast to some degree at some point. When I first graduated high school, I graduated honors but, like you know, whatever, I was a minimum work high school student probably the kind of student that a teacher would burn out on and went to college, went to community college, went there for several years two, three years did a lot of like theater, choir, took general studies, failed a lot, paid for classes that I didn't get credit for and then dropped out. Eventually dropped out of college, found a professional niche where I was successful to some degree, worked for 10, 12 years and then decided I hated managing people, I hated the work that I was doing and I went back to college. And when I went back to college I was going with kids kids, mostly people a lot younger than me and I came back to school with this entirely different outlook about the utility of school, what it was going to be for me and how I was going to use this to put myself into a new position in my career. And all it took was like oh, I go to the class. They tell me the things to do, I do the things and then we pass the class, we advance, we learn the things that we need to learn and we move forward. It's a completely different outlook. As an adult and I think I confidently can say this there's not going to be a kid slouching in the corner when you're trying to teach English to these professionals who are learning business grade English. In soul. That is going to be such a refreshing experience for you as a teacher. I think and I don't know how your outlook about it is I would imagine that it's positive. Like do you feel? Like? Even though it feels like a step backward to you, I think it's going to refresh your whole attitude about teaching, because these people are there to advance their careers. They're there to do the work and they're not going to be like, oh, we got to be here again today, like they're going to be there to be like this guy is going to help us in the world moving forward with our careers, and I think it's just an entirely different kind of student and it's going to refresh your outlook on teaching. I think. My personal perspective.

Billy:  Yeah, and that's how I feel too. And thinking about people are like our winners never quit, right? If you listen to Annie Duke, who is a world-renowned poker player, who has a couple of great books out there on quitting winners quit all the time in poker Because they play when they have a good hand. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. So what are the cards that I've been dealt and I think about? That's why I want people to take a look at their strengths and their weaknesses and their needs. What are the cards that you have been dealt? And then how can you use those to take advantage of the opportunities around you? And as much as I want to focus on teaching mindfulness and working with people one-to-one, that's going to take time to grow and I haven't really been focused with that because, like I said, I've tried to be everything to everyone in this podcast Now niching down, working with educators and digital nomads. That's going to take time to do the outreach, but now I have a clear focus, so then in that time I will be able to make some money and work in education and being a teacher is something that I enjoy doing and, all honesty, is something that I miss when I was a dean, I missed being in front of the classroom, I missed having students, and I think being a dean was misaligned in a lot of ways because, though it was a great opportunity and I learned a lot I learned a lot as a dean it wasn't something that I really enjoyed doing. I enjoyed being the bad guy, and I didn't get to work with maybe a student population as often that I would have liked to. And so now I do have this opportunity to work with a student population, their adults that I believe, are going to be committed to learning the material because, like you said, they're going to see it as truly valuable to advancing their career. So it's nice to think about that because, you know, as I've added this care unit metric into my mindfulness toolkit, I'm going to be able to better recognize when my frustration and desperation start to overwhelm my expectations of others and starts depleting me. And I'm not saying expectations are a bad thing. It's fine to have expectations of others. I would actually say it's necessary to have expectations of others. But if we're going to have expectations of others, we need to be okay with what Coach Lucas says in non-change and instead offer support when and where it's needed and that way we can say, hey, when you're ready, I'm ready. I'll be right here, and until then, I'm just here to listen and support, because at the end of the day, you, the listener, you're the captain of your own ship, and if you have found value in what we've discussed over the last three years and you think that I can provide value to you, you're in need of a GPS to help you get to wherever it is you're going in life, or if you have no idea where you're heading, or if you feel like your ship is sinking, or if you just need someone to listen to you, I'm here, and the only thing going away is this podcast, meditate and mingle, isn't going anywhere. If you want more information about Meditate and mingle, go back a few episodes and take a listen. If you're feeling the burnout blues or if you just want to swap war stories, I'm here for you too. You can shoot me an email at billy@mindfulmidlifecrisis.com or DM me on Instagram @mindful_midlife_crisis. Think of my inbox as the VIP lounge where we can commiserate, strategize or just share a good laugh. If you'd rather chat via Zoom, we can do that. You can go to www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.com and schedule a free exploration call. I had one of these the other day with a fellow digital nomad that I met in Bangkok who, weirdly, was from Minnesota. It's just so weird how what a small world we actually live in, and we ended up talking for over an hour because there was just so much to unpack, but at the end of the call she said this was so helpful. Thank you so much. You've really given me a lot to think about, and that's what I hope this podcast has provided for you as well. I hope that this podcast has given you a lot to think about. I hope that this podcast has provided you with practical tips and tools and strategies around how to navigate the complexities and possibilities of life's second half. And if this podcast has inspired you to invest in yourself in some new way, please share with the people in your life who may find value in it. That, to me, is the biggest compliment you can give. And if you do it on social media, don't forget to follow and tag us. Don't worry, all the old episodes none of those are going anywhere, so we're just not recording any new material. This is the final chapter, the final episode of The Mindful Midlife Crisis, and it's been an incredible three years sharing my story with you and I want to thank you for listening. As always, I'll leave you with this. If anything, this show has certainly shown that progress is not linear. Our growth looks more like the stock market, because some days we're up and some days we're down and we may not reap the benefits for a while. But if we play the long game and are consistent, disciplined, patient and self-compassionate, you'll see that your investment in yourself will pay huge dividends over time. Finally, I want to thank a few people here. First of all, I want to thank our Queen in the Philippines, Rann May, who does such a wonderful job of editing the show week after week, and I will miss recording ridiculous messages to her and her family every single week, and I will miss getting her upbeat and hilarious responses. Rann, you are the absolute best. Next, a huge shout out to my good friend, Brian on the base, who agreed to be my first co-host on this show with no hesitation. Without him, the show does not exist and many of the learning experiences I've had over the past three years as a result of this show are because he was willing to join me on this endeavor, and I'm so happy to see him flourish with Gen X jukebox, which was his vision that he had years ago. So to see that come the fruition and thrive the way they are these days is truly inspirational. Brian, I always look forward to our recording sessions at your office because I knew we were gonna laugh and have a good time, because that's just the kind of dude you are and you're all about making sure people have a great time. And I wanna thank you for 13 years of friendship, laughs, good times. I can't wait to do it for another 13 years and then. So, of course, the show would be nothing without the amazing guests we've had on the show over the past three years. If you wanna know which conversations are some of our favorites, just click on fan faves under the podcast tab at the website and you'll see our conversations with Sarah Ruddel Beach, Tom Cody, Dr. Yvette Erasmus, Greg Scheinman, Dr. Yolanda Holloway and Tiffany Byrd, Danny Bader, John McCaskill, Jordan Harbinger, Venus Lau. So many great conversations and, like I said, they're not going anywhere. So if you're like, no, I haven't listened to that one yet, don't worry, you still can, but maybe, maybe, if you had listened to it sooner, we wouldn't be ending the show.

Matt: I'm just kidding, this is all your fault. That was mean. That was mean. This is all your fault, not current listeners.

Billy:  If this is your first episode, where have you been?

Matt: Time capsule 2038. You've just discovered this podcast. You're a dick.

Billy:  Oh man, we are the worst. We are the absolute worst. This is actually probably why people stopped listening. That's not true. This is the part they like. This is the part that they enjoy. I think they actually probably prefer this part than the stuff I was trying to teach and preach.

Matt: Oh my God. So anyway, Stop imparting knowledge. I want to lie. Yes, exactly.

Billy:  Oh, you, the audience. You're actually the real MVPs of this show because you downloaded and listened to this show week after week for the past three years and, as a words of affirmation guy, I like data too, that is affirmation for me and being in the top 15% of all podcasts in the world and at one point being ranked as the number one indie dating podcast and the number six indie health podcast on Goodpads, we were a top 10 podcast at Japan in one time. At one point we had over 1,000 downloads a week, which blew my mind because I was happy when we got 1,000 downloads a month. Reaching these milestones doesn't happen without your support. So, once again, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. And I think it's only fitting that I turn things over to you, matt Hazard, because not only have you been listening since day one, but you've been such a welcome addition to this show here recently, and not only as our frequent season recap guest, but as the co-host the past few months, and I've had so much fun doing these episodes with you, and I really feel like when people ask me who's your ideal audience, it's someone like you, because you're not just a passive listener, you're also engaging with the conversation in a way that inspires you to take action and apply what we've discussed week after week these last three years, and I sincerely hope it's benefited you in some way. So I'll turn it over to you for the last word.

Matt: Well, Billy, there was a part of that whole section that stuck out to me. So when you were talking about Annie Duke, something stuck out in my mind because I'm a pretty avid poker player and Annie Duke is great and you said something about the cards that you're dealt and like folding a lot, like quitting a lot and waiting for the right hand. But the right hand isn't always about the cards that you're dealt. Sometimes it's about the feel for the other people at the table, who's around you and what you read on them is and that is a lot of what poker is, and Annie Duke is definitely really good at that, and I think that that is some of the equipment that this show has helped me with is thinking about who and what is around me, thinking about the equipment that I have within myself and what I can do to improve myself in a situation to project that confidence like I got you and I don't know man. It's just fun watching and listening to my friends and I started listening to the podcast because I love you and I was wanting to support the project and you know I tolerate, brian, and and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and and but. But you know, like when great friends do great things, it's awesome to be there and like I thought this was a great thing and I was so blessed and feel like really flattered to have been asked to be involved in it. And you know, it's been one of my great joys for the last few years and that's pretty much all I have to say about it.

Billy:  Well, it's been a joy to have you part of this journey too, and you know that I love you and, I'll be honest, it feels refreshing to let this podcast go and know and feel sincerely like I did my best with it and that's that feels good, and it feels like a sense of completion that this chapter in my life is now complete and I feel good about it and I'm ready to move on to the next chapter. So I want to thank you, matt Hazard, for being part of it. I want to thank Brian on the bass for being part of it. I don't want to thank my guests for being part of it and I want to thank all of you for being part of it, all of you out there listening, whether this is your first episode or whether it is your 118th episode. Thank you so much for listening to The Mindful Midlife Crisis. May you feel happy, healthy and loved. 

Take care, friends.