The Mindful Midlife Crisis

Episode 112--How Being More Aware of Our Strengths, Weaknesses, and Needs Leads to Better Outcomes

November 15, 2023
The Mindful Midlife Crisis
Episode 112--How Being More Aware of Our Strengths, Weaknesses, and Needs Leads to Better Outcomes
Show Notes Transcript

In this week’s episode, Billy and Matt share their excitement (mostly Matt) over Halloween and the upcoming holidays. More importantly, they discuss Matt’s discovery of his strengths and weaknesses and the importance of self-awareness and intentionality in improving personal and parental roles. This conversation underscores the value of being purposeful and passionate in your day-to-day life.

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Billy:  Welcome to The Mindful Midlife Crisis, a podcast for people navigating the complexities and possibilities of life's second half. I'm your host, Billy Lahr, an educator, personal trainer, meditation teacher and overthinker who talks to experts who specialize in social and emotional learning. Mindfulness, physical and emotional wellness, cultural awareness, finances, communication, relationships, dating, and parenting all in an effort to help us better reflect, learn, and grow so we can live a more purpose-filled life.

Take a deep breath, embrace the present, and journey with me through The Mindful Midlife Crisis.

Welcome to the Mindful Midlife Crisis. I'm your host, Billy Lahr. Thank you for tuning in Wherever you are. The purpose of this show is to help you navigate the complexities and possibilities of life's second half using my no BS GPS guide to finding more purpose and passion in life, because I am so sick and tired of people telling you to follow your passions, because that is complete and utter nonsense. Purpose and passion are destinations, not starting points. So if you need some direction in getting to that place in your life, join the Mindful Midlife Community at and get my free six step roadmap to living your life with more purpose and passion. I also share how practicing intentional and mindful living over the last 10 years has helped me navigate the trials, tribulations and successes of my own midlife crisis. Being more intentional and mindful has helped me process my ruminating thoughts, anxiety and stress in a much healthier way, by reducing my emotional reactivity and impulsive behavior, which, in turn, has helped me improve my relationships and communication with others, as well as be more consistent, disciplined, patient and productive in meeting my goals. These are the same skills, strategies and resources I use in my personal life, based on years of research and experimentation, to find a bit more calm amidst the chaos of my mind. And, trust me, there are still days when I'm a hot mess, but my hope is that by sharing my experiences, as well as the experiences of my guests, you'll see that you are not alone in your experience. So if you're looking for a little more direction and clarity in life, visit, join our Mindful Midlife Community and let me be your GPS to finding more purpose and passion in life. And now it's time for my favorite part of the show, because once again, I'm joined by my best good pal, the always entertaining the one, the only, Matt Hazard. 

Matt, what have you got for us today? 

Matt: Hey, mama said we'll move, gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove. A hot child will shake that thing. Gonna make you burn, gonna make you sing. It's not as good without the reverb…to be honest.

Billy:  It's still good, though, and I was waiting for it. Yeah, that's a goodie, little Robert Plant. A lot of people will get upset with me when I tell them that I think Chris Cornell is a better singer than Robert Plant, but here's the thing I actually am not a big Led Zeppelin fan. I'm not a big Zeppelin fan.

Matt: I'm not a big Zeppelin fan either, for being a classic rock guy they're not one of my but I do think if you asked Chris Cornell if he was still alive, unfortunately, he would say Robert Plant was probably a big influence for him in his vocal stylings. I would guess I would agree.

Billy:  I would agree. Yes, Robert Plant is absolutely fantastic. It just wasn't. I wonder if I am biased because I didn't grow up in that era. You and I used to have Gangster Rap Night with our good friend, Zepp. I feel like that's what I used to listen to when I was in my formidable teenage years. Then I was introduced not necessarily introduced but a friend of mine was like, hey, maybe spend a little bit more time with these other bands. Then I was like, oh yeah, this is really good music too. I don't have the same appreciation for the classics that you do because I grew up with two older sisters. So there was a lot of Richard Marks in my house growing up. Oh, hell, yeah, so good. Which you know what? Listen, I still like me some Richard Marks. They don't rave with some you know, I like me some Richard. Marks.

Matt: Did you know that Richard Marks has a song called Hazard? Right, I don't know that? Yeah, you had a hit song called Hazard. I always really liked that. I was like, yeah, that's me.

Billy:  Anyway, well, so last week we actually broke down your personality profile type and we did kind of the same for me, and one of the things that you talked about was being the life of the party and the host with the most. Now, this episode is going to come out sometime right around mid-November, but we're recording it a couple days after Halloween and you lived up to the life of the party and host of the most for Halloween. So since we talked about this in your personality profile, will you please share with our listeners just how big you went for Halloween?

Matt: So Halloween is a big. I like the whole holiday season, the whole fall into winter holiday season. I'm a big, like I do the whole Mariah Carey for Christmas. We start listening to Christmas music, like this week in my house.

Billy:  Oh, you're one of those. I'm about it.

Matt: I am, yes, but up until November 1st, halloween. I remember when I was a kid, the first time I ever hit a house that had the full size candy bars, and I lost my mind. So I was like when I grow up I'm doing that and I'm fortunate to live in a neighborhood that has a ton of kids, a lot of great people in the neighborhood, and so I bought 160 full size candy bars. They all went. I had a backup bag of many candy bars all gone and I had to, like, turn the lights off at 830 and like, I think, the last couple of teenagers. But the other thing that I also do, as I set up a cooler, as we've talked about on the show, I believe my wife works for an alcohol manufacturer and they have a lot of great brands. So I go and get 50 milliliters, like the little airplane bottles of flavored smirnoffs, bullet, bourbon, bailey's Irish Cream and myriad Crown Royal, myriad other brands and that my wife's company makes. Put them in a cooler, a little bit of ice, put them outside within my sight line so that I don't ever, because I got to, you got to monitor that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I stand at the door the whole time I'll be, you get away, you don't look 21. That kind of thing. But and then I, if it's warm enough, I'll sit out front and just like, socialize and end up doing a few shots, usually with people, but and I call it grown folks trick or treats. Put a big sign on it grown folks, trick or treats, definitely not alcohol. Okay, it's probably alcohol like that kind of thing, yeah, and that's become a tradition to everybody in the neighborhood knows you start on this end of the neighborhood because then you get to hazard's house and you get a little nip to keep you warm while you're going around.

Billy:  That is fantastic. That is the epitome of being the host of the most and the life of the party right there. So I'm sure the parents in that neighborhood really appreciate it.

Matt: The other thing I do is I set up lights, I have jack-o'-lanterns out front and I set music out and I've got like thriller and monster mash and all that like banging when people come to the door, like so I, I like Halloween, I do Halloween, right. And now we switch gears and it's Christmas up until Thanksgiving and then Thanksgiving for a day and then Christmas again. That's that's how it is.

Billy:  Man, I have so many opinions on that, but at the same time you can keep those to yourself. I was just gonna say I'm just gonna let you live your life. I'm just gonna let you live your life, you know, because who am I to kill your holiday buzz, right. Who am I Because I?

Matt: Don't you know I?

Billy:  don't want to be the Grinch. You know I was the Grinch for a long time in my life, so I won't be the Grinch here in this moment. Now might I secretly be judging you a bit, but I want you to know, just like Bon Jovi sings baby, it's your life, so I want you to live your life.

Matt: It's now or never, and I just got a new Ella Fitzgerald sings Christmas records, so that's that's what we're doing.

Billy:  Oh, I love it, I love it, I love it. So, while you're enjoying the holidays, we've also added a few more strategies into your life to help you start your day by being more present during your morning coffee. And, like we said last week, you know I walked you through the high gear, low gear, personality assessment. And if people want to get that, all you got to do is go to, sign up for the newsletter and boom, that'll land in your mailbox and there'll be an explanation as to how to use it. And if you're like I don't know how to use this, this looks like really complicated. Yeah, just reach out to me, I'll let you know and maybe we'll go through it, just like we did with Matt. That might be kind of fun. I'm always curious as to who's listening and who's interested in doing these kinds of things and learning a little bit more about themselves and how to navigate these challenges in life. But I did give you a little bit of homework and I asked you to reflect on where you noticed your high gear and low gear strengths, your high gear weaknesses and your high gear needs. Now I also understand that's kind of a tall order for a working parent of two young kids. So if you didn't actually sit down and write out your responses to this, don't worry about it, big guy, that's okay. That's quite all right. We're just going to take a little bit of time here now to reflect and then we'll make a plan to set aside some intentional time to actually fill this out for the next week. So you can notice that. How does that sound that?

Matt: Sounds great. I did not fill out the responses.

Billy:  That's all right, because we're going to talk about it, we'll reflect on it and then we'll just move it on to the next week. So you're good, you're all good. So first things first, let's talk about these high gear weaknesses that you mentioned last week. These are high gear weaknesses. These are part of your default personality that maybe get in the way of you being and as we talked about the best father you can be, the best husband you can be, but then also maybe gets in the way of doing some of these bigger things that you want to do in life, like being a mediocre guitar player or being a future traveler, right. So I want to start with that, because it's easier for us to recall the times we screwed up. Unfortunately, we just default to the negatives so often. So we're going to start with that and get that out of the way, because then we can move forward into our strengths, and on a high note. So you mentioned that your high gear weaknesses. One of them is no follow through. Now I would say that you going big with Halloween. That's a real success right there. So I want to commend you on that, for going big on Halloween. Are there any moments throughout the week where you recognize that maybe you said something, but you didn't follow through on it.

Matt: Yeah. So I think that when I talk to my kids, I try to be very intentional about being honest with them as much as I can. I'm not a white lies person. I will do that to protect them or whatever the case may be, but I'm very intentional about being honest with my kids and I also am very intentional about if I give them my word that we're going to do something or that will follow through with something, I try and do it. I fall short sometimes. I think all parents do. So I did notice that this week, like I've told my kids you know you can have this much time for TV, then we got to do homework or we'll go to the store and get this on this day and we'll miss it and They'll be very upset and I'll be like all right, I got to make that up. So I do notice those moments. They're often also around my next weakness, being disorganized, because I find that we're cramming a lot always into a small amount of time and Then when I have the downtime, I'm not using it effectively to get my kids the things that they need as a father, or maybe get my wife the things that she needs as my wife, as my partner, whether it's like I could be doing the dishes right now, or but I'm recording this podcast with you, but you know what I mean. Yeah, you know I could be using my time better to help be the partner that I should be in our house which, by the way, I hate the word help my wife with chores. It's I'm supposed to be doing half the chores, I. It's like that's my job as a partner, so it's like I'll help. Oh, daddy is helping with the kids? No, I'm not. Those are my kids, like I'm supposed to be. That's my job, right, right, anyway. So there's those two things for sure In terms of like not following through the way that I want to and being disorganized. I often find that that's almost always around things involving my home and keeping the home running and Thank God for Melissa that the house does keep running, because she's the opposite of that very organized.

Billy:  So then I mean, you're very aware of these things, right, especially as you reflect on them. So then where do we become intentional around, like, okay, I have this amount of time right here, what's something that I could do? Or even when you're making plans with the kids and you're saying, hey guys, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this. Where is that coming from? Why are you making those plans If you're not a hundred percent sure that you can follow through with them?

Matt: Well, and it's not about inability to follow through, it is that disorganized brain Like I could follow through on everything that I promised my kids. I wouldn't promise them things that I don't think that I can do. It's just like now we're to the day and it's like, oh, I promise that we could go to the store, but Otis has a doctor's appointment. Or I promise that we could go to the park, but the kids have karate and I'm disorganized so I don't remember that schedule and that's my fault. So now I've made a promise that I can't follow through. That it doesn't happen often, but it does happen and it's the one often begets the other. And then you know, for the third high gear weakness, the no fault thing that I find that I Am really good at making an excuse, especially if my kids who take after me are not great at being on task and like getting ready in the morning, I find myself losing patience very quickly with them and my wife will be like, hey, that was a big reaction for what they're actually doing right now they're just being kids and I'll be like, well, that, but they, but they, them. It was their fault and I need to be, you know, a little bit more present in my feelings like, oh, I can just direct, this does not need to be a stern hand, this needs to be a guiding hand, and then I get defensive about it. That's the thing that I've noticed as a parent. I can get defensive about the way that I am disciplining the kids More than I need to be. Those are the things that I've noticed in the last you know kind of a couple weeks since we've had this conversation.

Billy:  So it's interesting kind of hearing, maybe when the kids are Disorganized because they're kids right, or they're not moving on your schedule, so to speak, and that frustrates you. But then you realize that oh, hey, wait, at times I am also Disorganized and there are probably things that my wife, melissa would like me to do and there might be some things that, oh, and now I understand here and so just kind of thinking about you know, you talk about disorganized. This is a very and I'm sure you probably do something like this, but I'm wondering if you guys have like a family calendar where things are on the calendar, and Do you have them on your like a Google calendar or something like that, so it pops up on your phone as a pop-up with multiple reminders, and not for the intention of, like, micromanaging you, but just because, oh hey, because of my disorganized mind, I might need multiple reminders and it doesn't have to be forever, but is it something that you maybe do for a month until you get into a routine? And, like I said, this may be assuming that you don't do that, I don't do that.

Matt: I mean, I have a work calendar that I thankfully we have a business manager that keeps us very organized in terms of the work that we do and if we have to visit clients, that kind of thing. The other aspect of that, though, is that I also have access to like that outlook calendar or Google calendar or whatever I and I don't generally use that for like appointments or anything Inside or outside of work. For some reason, I'm like, oh, I can keep that in my head and I don't. I don't do a great job of that. I have a great memory. I remember names really well, but I'll forget events and and tasks do better with that.

Billy:  Yes. So Maybe two suggestions in here. It sounds like, in just knowing Melissa, she's very organized in those when things are going. Do the two of you sit with intention like throughout, maybe one day a week, and just say what appointments Do we have this week for us and for the children, so that I can put them on my calendar, so I can schedule around that kind of thing, so I don't over promise that the kids can do this, but oops, no, we have this. Or One time you and I scheduled a time for us to record and Melissa was like we got to go. So I remember asking her would you like me to include you on the calendar? Because I had to do that for Brian on the base. I had to include lean on on the calendar because anytime a Brian can you record Friday at five, oh yeah, no problem, and then lean would email me the next day. He cannot record at five o'clock, yeah. So I'm wondering if, like just having that conversation once a week Maybe it's Sunday morning or you know what have you and saying, hey, what do we have going on this week? So because the reason why I say this, because it reminds me of what Greg Scheinman, episode 41 People want to check out that episode. That's a great episode. His big thing is show me your calendar and I'll show you your priorities. Hmm, so where does that come in then? Is that something that's possible?

Matt: So if I showed Greg Scheinman my calendar, he'd be like your priority is not your calendar, because it's pretty blank. But I would say, melissa and I, intentionally, as we're recapping the evening, we never watch TV until after the kids are in bed. So we'll get the kids to bed, we sit down, we turn on some mindless like a cooking show or something like that, and then we'll talk for a while and often those conversations are like all right, what do we got tomorrow? What do we got for the remainder that we owe? We got that birthday party on Saturday, we got this, whatever. So I feel like they're often refreshed in my mind, but I don't really keep a calendar. I just kind of keep it in my head, which is, I understand, like that's where the shortcomings start. So I should probably be more intentional about keeping a better calendar. But we talk about it often enough that, like I feel like it's largely fresh in my head and Very seldom do things fall through the cracks, but they do so.

Billy:  I should. Yes, so now you have something for next week, right? So we moving forward and like to be honest, like you know, having you do the. What did you notice about your weaknesses, your needs, your strengths? If you want to do that, you could do that maybe a couple weeks from now and instead make this be the focus, because then what you might see is A shift in how you're seeing your no follow-through and your disorganization and your no fault. So that might just be the one thing where you're like hey, melissa, because Billy is incredibly intelligent and also handsome, he suggested that we do this. Could you tell me specifically? And you can have your phone up, because you can put events in your phone and those oftentimes tie to your calendar on your computer. What have you? That's a suggestion. I'll throw that out to take it or leave it. I will try. Yeah, I'm gonna try. Give it a shot, see how it goes. See how it goes. I mean, it's again bringing stuff, awareness. And here's the thing sometimes the things that I suggest Don't necessarily work for everybody. You find a system that works for you. So we also talked about and this, maybe this plays a role in this too a high-gear need you have that you feel isn't being met and I asked you to be intentional around having that need met and you said that you needed some variety and Flexibility. So I'm wondering did you get that itched scratch this past week? And if you did, how did that feel? And if you didn't, do you feel like it's something that left the week feeling a bit empty or Incomplete?

Matt: yeah, so to some degree I got it with Halloween, because Halloween becomes a big event for me. It's unusual obviously it's not just giving candy at my front door every week and I got to scratch some of the itches of being that host, being that life of the party, building relationships with my neighbors and things of that nature. So I liked that for this week, that kind of scratched that itch. Also I know this is gonna sound bad talking to someone in Minnesota about it was a cold week in Northwest Arkansas. Did it snow like it did here? It did not, but we had a lot of rain and we had overnight lows in like the low 20s, even the like 19 or something one of the mornings. So instead of walking my kids to school or riding bicycles, I drove them to school several days this week, and that's unusual for me. So like navigating that is was a different, made my day slightly different. I had to plan around how to get the exercise that I'm missing when I walk my kids to school, or so I was walking my dogs more often and putting little cute little coats on them, because that's adorable. But yeah, so it was just the weather changed my day a little bit. That was a good thing because I think it kind of that neuro Plasticity of like just changing up the day, so it wasn't the same as yesterday. I also had a couple of visits at clients this week where most of my work is at the phone at home and Answering calls and that kind of thing, and I was on site doing work this week a little bit more often. So that was a good thing too, because when I have those moments I'm often talking to people at clients, people I don't often talk to, so I Get to scratch that social itch as well and that extrovert itch as well, as doing something that differs from my normal day. So I kind of did have that in the last couple of weeks and it felt good. I enjoyed that, especially Halloween it was good, good, good.

Billy:  I'm glad you were able to itch that scratch, get a little bit of variety and flexibility, and I like how you looked in. They were all sorts of opportunities, like you could have just said well, work was work, well, no, work actually shifted a little bit so you were able to see the flexibility and the variety in work and even taking a look at taking the kids to school. That was a change, and sometimes I think people take that for granted and it doesn't sound like you did. It sounded like, hey, this is something that's gonna be different, so it might add a little bit of stress to my life. So then it makes me think about how am I going to get my exercise? And so I think you did a really great job of Bringing awareness to, addressing that need for variety and flexibility, but then also Recognizing that, hey, this is variety, this is flexibility, this feels good, this feels kind of cool. So kudos to you for that nicely done. I also asked you you're welcome, fella I also asked you to consider your low gear strengths that you'd like to develop further. But because these don't come naturally to us, you're going to have to have a bit more Intentionality around Activating them. And look at it this way. Maybe you remember the Wonder Twins, right? Yes, and your peaceful, melancholy alter ego, which is that's your lowest score. So the peaceful, melancholy alter ego is the other half of this superhero duo, that is, matt hazard. So, in a sense, you have to step outside yourself and really say, okay, I need to summon this alter ego in order to activate this low gear strength of mine that's buried deep within me, because you're capable of it. It just doesn't come naturally to you. So were you able to do that? Were you able to be analytical? Were you able to be detailed, conscious? Were you able to be sensitive? Because those were the three low-gear strengths that you are looking to activate.

Matt: Yeah, so I specifically think of something that actually happened the other day and one of the reasons that I had to visit this client was, very specifically in the minutiae, doing a root cause analysis of why one particular client had one computer in their practice that was not Working the way that they wanted it to work and I was troubleshooting it remotely. I was doing this, I was doing that and I was like what, at some point I've just got to get in there and figure out top to bottom why this is doing what it's doing. You know I don't want to get too into the detail of it, but I was able to do that just sit and think, watch how it's behaving, line by line, try the things that I felt were possible symptoms and then Get to that root, fix it and then move forward. And so that was analytical and detail conscious. It's one example I don't have a ton of examples where I have to summon or use that muscle. I'm not great at it, but that aspect of finding the root cause I Think is a big part of my job. So summoning effort to do it. It doesn't come naturally to me, but I have gotten experience with it over the last 10 years, so I feel good about my ability and the skill for it, but it's a big energy tax for me excellent, excellent.

Billy:  And how did that feel when you were able to be analytical but then also succeed in being analytical?

Matt: So I love solving problems and that was a big problem that I was able to fix and then move forward. And Also it's like that great feeling where you're like, hey, I fixed your issue, now it's gone, you don't have to worry about it anymore, and then you get that return. So, yeah, that experience was rewarding for me and I always look forward to those opportunities, but they're kind of few and far between at times.

Billy:  It feels rewarding when you're able to especially activate something that doesn't come naturally to you and then you succeed at doing it because that builds confidence is like, oh, because maybe sometimes I think we suppress these low gear strengths because we don't feel confident that we're going to be able to Be successful at using them, or, like I said, they just don't come naturally. But what does come naturally to you are things like being the life of the party and making friends Easily. So we kind of talked a little bit about that already. But you also listed curiosity here as a high gear strength of yours. So where did curiosity come into play?

Matt: Almost always a curiosity comes in to play with my family, with my wife and kids. I find myself asking a lot of questions of my children. I feel like I'm a vent source for my wife. If she's got struggles at work or anything like that, I listen well, and then I ask pointed questions that kind of allow her to continue that venting process. Like Maybe she wants to say the thing to me that she didn't get to say in the conversation because she was. You know what I mean. So I try and do that and like I think we talked about the last episode, I don't retain that stuff well, like I couldn't tell you the content of that conversation, but she did get to vent. And then with my kids, you know, I'm always asking like what are you learning in school right now? What toys are you into? Like if they watch TV and there's like a commercial on almost every commercial, almost everyone and every parent that hears this is gonna be like they're gonna identify with this. They'll see a commercial for a toy and their word-for-word response every single time they see it is I wish I had that.

Billy:  And it's just every commercial heartstrings, your heartstrings, just pull.

Matt: No, you know what we did. You know our solution. You know our solution for this. What's that? We do have a, the one piece of organization that I'm very proud of. We keep like a series of lists, like a grocery list that we share and then like gift ideas for each other and for the kids, and they're all shared lists that we share between my wife and I, and They'll be like, oh, wish I had that. And I'm like I am gonna put that right on your list. And their lists are long, sir. There's a lot of things on their gift ideas. So in this coming month, here you know, they're gonna get some of the stuff because we got Christmas, otis's birthday, harper's birthday is in February.

Billy:  They're gonna get some some of the stuff, but they're extensive, these lists now do they forget about some of the things that are on the list, categorically right, right, right. So then, how do you choose? Or do you let them choose the one that they really want?

Matt: With intentionality, occasionally, like my son will be like I want this thing and I'm like, okay, we'll go to Target, Walmart, whatever your store of preference is, that's where we went. Okay, and We'll go there. And I'll be like if that thing is not there, buddy, I'm not, you know, I'm not gonna go out and hunt for some high-minded. You're gonna pick something out and that's what we'll get. If he's getting a toy, like if that's the thing that he has earned in terms of behavior, chores, whatever, for gifts when it's time for birthday, for Christmas, we just kind of go off of what they're into most recently because we want them to be excited about what they get, so the things that are most recent on the list, unless it's something that they just continually talked about. But if they haven't retained that, that's a thing that they really wanted. Also, cost comes into play, but Right Reasons he's probably the biggest factor Got it.

Billy:  So then, like, all in all, do you feel and you don't have to placate me here, but do you feel like that for temperaments assessment, giving you a better understanding of what your high-year strengths are, your low-year strengths are your high-year weaknesses, your needs, and as we sit here and talk about that, do you think that that is something that kind of helps you moving forward about, okay, how do I be more intentional and mindful in the next week here?

Matt: So I don't know categorically that doing the examination or doing the test helped necessarily define anything for me, but I will say that the homework assignment and just being thoughtful about examples and being thoughtful moving forward of the things that play to those strengths or play to those weaknesses, that helped me be more thoughtful or more present in the moment, I think, than I otherwise would have been.

Billy:  Yeah, and I think that's the benefit of coaching, right, I think, just anytime you get a chance to process things out loud, particularly with somebody, because otherwise, if it's just yourself, it's the same echo chamber, right you might not see them the same way. So it is nice to revisit those things or get a different perspective of those things. Or if you're stuck, how do you get unstuck and see those things? That's why I'm such a huge advocate for therapy. I remember having a conversation with a guy. I think his name is Jeff Goodrich. If people want to give him a follow, he has a dog called Duder. So his Instagram is Dude and Duder, I think, because his dog played a significant role in his transformation. So anyway, he and I were talking and I think it was him. He said something along the lines of you know, I played baseball my whole life. So when I was in T-ball I had a coach, and when I was in Little League, I had a coach, and when I was in high school, I had a coach, and when I was in college I had a coach. And then when I graduated, I was expected to know how to adult, and adulting is hard, especially when you're at 23, 24 years old. Your brain is still not fully developed at that time. So who is helping you coach those situations? I imagine, as a first time parent, you had all sorts of questions about how to parent, because what I've been told is that you're never ready when you first become a parent. No matter what you do, you are never ready. But I imagine you're even less ready if you are not being intentional or having conversations or joining communities with people who are already parents, Even just in other aspects of life. I take a look at how much of a raging asshole I was in my 20s and early 30s because I didn't know how to regulate any of these emotions that I was having. And then, when I was introduced to mindfulness, then I was like, oh, there had been this development of awareness. Well, who brings me to mindfulness? Is a therapist. So my recommendation for those of you out there who maybe need a little something like this hey, I always recommend therapy. Therapy is fantastic. Or you can come and have a conversation with me. I would love to have this conversation with you because I love having these types of conversations. I love helping people navigate the complexities and possibilities of life's second hand. So if you're looking for ways to reflect, learn and grow, like we did in this episode. Go to and join our Mindful Midlife community. Not only will you receive the four temperaments personality test that we discussed last week and in this episode, but you'll also get free access to my Intro to Mindfulness starter course. You also get access to the Meditate and Miggle sessions that I do every single Monday night. If you take that four temperaments test and you want to chat about your results, like we did here with Matt Hazard today, that's a free service for you. So go to the show notes and schedule an exploration call with me, or shoot me an email at If this episode inspired you to invest in yourself in some new way, please do me a favor and subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcast. If you're looking for which episode to listen to next, go to the website and click Fan Faves under the podcast tab. I would also greatly appreciate it if you would share this episode or any other favorite episode with people in your life who may find value in it. That, to me, is the biggest compliment you can give, and if you do it on social media, please don't forget to tag us at mindful underscore midlife underscore crisis. Finally, remember this progress is not linear. Our growth looks more like the stock market Some days were up, some days were down and we may not reap the benefits for a while. But if we play the long game and our consistent discipline, the patient and self-compassionate, you'll see that your investment in yourself will pay huge dividends over the time. The purpose of this show is to help you navigate the complexities and possibilities of life's second half, and I hope this free and useful information provides some insight that will guide you towards living with more purpose and passion in your life. 

So for Matt Hazard… 

Matt: that's me!!! 

Billy:  This is Billy. Thank you for listening to the Mindful Midlife Crisis. May you feel happy, healthy and loved. 

Take care, friends.

Matt: Goodbye.